(by Amber Dembowski)
Everyone wants to be part of a great team, but not everyone knows HOW to be part of a great team. Great teams certainly don’t become great naturally. We must put in the work and be intentional about it. Because great teams exhibit resilience and grit, and this post will show you how to get your teams there.
First off, let’s clear something up. No one creates success alone. And that includes within schools. There are micro teams and macro teams. Even though it seems we work in silos within our own offices and classrooms, there are teams everywhere within schools. If you think you work alone, I’m going to give it to ya’ straight. You. are. wrong.
Your macro teams might include the entire staff of the district, or the staff at the school. The micro teams can be anything from your leadership teams, your MTSS committee members, your department or grade level teams, co-teaching teams, and the gazillion other roles and committees that educators serve on. Most educators contribute to multiple different teams as part of the job, volunteering their time, or as an extra paid role. Either way, all educators have a huge job as a patron to the teams they’re a part of – whether they chose it or not. And, assuming you’re an educator, it’s your business to build a more positive, engaged and connected team.
While most teams focus on what they want to achieve, the pudding is actually about knowing what you want to become. Within the schools we have systems for everything – data collection, decision rules, student assistance plans, etc. But the one system we don’t have, and need to create for our own school within each team, is a system for what you want your team to be and how to behave. I’m talking about the little habits within the larger system. Little and MIGHTY habits, I should say.
As the school year begins and teams begin to form, decide what type of team you want to be.
Reliable
Trustworthy
Productive
Caring
Supportive
Empathetic
Energizing
Honest
Proactive
Authentic
Motivating
Inclusive
Curious
You name it. You decide.
As a team ask yourself, “What behaviors will help our team become what we want to be?” And then after you all agree – prove it to yourself with small wins. Every action is a vote for the type of team you want to become.
To be successful, each member must care about how their contributions and attitude affect the group. A team can be torn down by the day to day negative actions if a team member isn’t committed to upholding their part.
And this can be hard. Especially if there is dissonance between some staff members serving on the same team. It’s easier to just shun the unpleasant teammate. So, if your team agrees upon being caring or trustworthy, and someone on your team isn’t part of your typical social group, AND you don’t like that person in general, then you’re going to have to work especially hard to uphold your commitment of being caring and trustworthy to that team member. Because, more often than not, we pretend we’ve made a commitment, when what we actually did was just commit to try until things get too hard.
What’s easier for people is to lean into the habits that are approved by those around us, within our own social groups. So, if a good friend starts bad mouthing someone on your team, it’s going to be a lot more rewarding, and super easy, to chime in. It’s these decisive moments – sticking to your team commitment or not – that creates a fork in the road about you as part of that team. It only takes one pessimistic teammate to drag down the group’s ability to be successful. Negativity and lack of commitment to the team will sabotage everything. So instead of chiming in, decline to participate in their drama. Because this is about respecting yourself and your team, instead of catering to your insecure need to be liked. When you love yourself enough to stand in the truth of the behaviors you committed to, everyone benefits.
Everyone needs to see how each and every decision, action and habit either serves their team, or doesn’t. Everyone needs to see themselves as a piece of the puzzle.
Because everyone’s energy is contagious. Strong teams demonstrate commitment, caring, and connection. And having these conversations upfront with your team is critical so that everyone is on the same page. You need to build grit and toughness early on so that you can lean into it later in the year when you don’t have as much energy to pull from.
A strong team is dependent on how you’re showing up everyday for them, even when things are stressful. When things get tough, people often forget they need to invest in one another, instead of allowing destructive habits (gossiping, complaining, excluding) to creep in.
So, what if you’re all in, but someone else on the team isn’t.
First, assume the best. Assuming the best is a simple behavior, but it’s also the easiest to forget. When tensions are high and frustrations are peaking, it becomes easy to assume that someone purposely failed you or the team. It's much harder to make the choice to find happiness and assume no one intended to frustrate and irritate you.
There may be circumstances where your assumption is wrong, but that tends to be the exception, not the norm, especially on high-performing teams. Taking a moment to pause and assume positive intent will help reframe circumstances in a way that creates unity.
From there, if a teammate is continuing to not stick to the team’s commitments, it’s time to have a difficult conversation. It’s important to note that just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean it can’t come from a place of positivity and caring. It may help to frame it as a positive conflict, because in the end, it will help the team get better. It clears the air. And you’ll all learn something through it.
The fact that you’ve already established commitments as a team will help drive the conversation:
“We’ve made a decision as a team to not let negativity sabotage us.”
Time will tell what comes next. If after you’ve poured support and empathy into your teammate, with good intentions behind it, and they’re still not demonstrating that they can contribute positively to the team, then, unfortunately, it’s necessary to remove the member. I’m not talking about hiring a hitman here. Geesh. Calm down. I’m just talking about giving them the big heave-ho. Because it’s apparent that they are either too committed to their own dysfunction, that the team isn’t a good fit for them, or that they’re too much in their own head to make any changes.
In future blogs I’ll be addressing how to navigate these difficult conversations in greater detail, and when to make the decision for an intervention plan/removal of a team member that is disrupting the vision of the team or the school.
But for now, there’s no need for that, because as of today, as the school year kicks off, you’re focusing on serving each other. On your commitment to contributing to the multiple different teams you serve on in positive ways. On proving to yourself and to others that you are a positive, engaged, and connected team member.
Because being a good team member not only strengthens your team and your school, but it also improves your inner strength, and shapes the resilience within yourself that you’ll need to feel successful through the year.
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