(by Taylor Ainsworth)
Have you ever heard of that saying that goes something like,
... the words you speak become the house you live in?
That house has meaning and that meaning is you. You are your own home.
Your brain hears and feels every single thought you have. Then, it works with your body to act accordingly.
If you spend the majority of your day having fear based, doubt filled or negative thoughts -- you become the energy those words carry; negative energy.
I think we can all agree that being filled with low and self-defeating thoughts doesn't make us feel good or show up everyday being our best, most authentic selves.
If you've forgotten, I will remind you,
you are deserving of all the kind, compassionate, respectful thoughts about yourself that you give so freely to others.
If you find yourself currently stuck in a low thought era, let's talk about how we transform our self talk to be more aligned with feeling connected to yourself.
It’s simple, starting acting on love for who you are. Ask yourself, when did you last do something you love? If you aren’t doing things you love, it’s easier to feel disconnected and that gives space for those negative thoughts to start creeping in.
Start incorporating things that make you feel good into your everyday routine. Anything from eating breakfast, wearing your favorite outfit, drinking your water, getting an iced coffee, to setting a boundary, taking up space and going to bed at a good time. All of those actions are a form of love and respect towards yourself.
When you start actively engaging in loving yourself, watch the words you speak start to radiate with light and positive power. If you walk forward everyday with the feeling of believing in who you are, you will cultivate a home that in not only encouraging, but is safe, patient and kind. Then, the words you speak can make you feel proud to live in your home.
So how can I actively start loving who I am?
Let me give you an idea. First, picture a kid. Any kid. Think of their sweet face and all of their hopes and dreams for the future. Deep down you know you believe in this kid and you’ll be there to support them, lift them up and empower them to be the best version of themselves. This kid doesn't deserve anything less than kindness, patience, and love.
Now, picture saying the meanest thing you can think of to this kid. Go ahead, say it.
You can’t can you?
Because you know deep down nobody deserves to be talked to that way. Including you.
So, let's translate this idea into a practice you can do at home. I highly encourage you to find a picture of the little kid version of you. Print it out, frame it and put it on your bathroom mirror. Everyday you wake up and start your morning routine, I challenge you to say something kind and compassionate to the younger you.
The trick for this to work? You have to fake it until you become it and fully believe it. I fully mean it when I say FAKE it until you become it.
Let's pick one thought together to practice using this skill! We'll use a thought I hear often from people, “I don’t like my body, I am not happy with it and because of how I look I am not enough.”
It's time to break it down: the main belief here is that your body, or what you look like, equals your worth. We're going to shut that down real quick! Now trust me when I say I understand how truly difficult this is, but we have to start somewhere, right?! How do you expect yourself to show up everyday and be kind to yourself with the words you use if you've already decided you're not worthy enough of being spoken to with respect.
Your home, which as you remember is- YOU, will crumble. Guaranteed. It will be like the three little pigs all over again. The big bad wolf (speaking to yourself with mean words) will blow your house over.
So, how do you transform this thought into something that is beneficial for your overall well being that you don’t believe, about yourself, YET. (Yes the magical yet works for us adults too!) Lets try instead to start every morning by saying, “I embrace my individuality and love who I am.” Take a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth, now repeat that affirmation again, “I embrace my individuality and love who I am.”
Was that a little uncomfortable?
For most of us, probably yes! and that’s okay! We are in it together and one day you will believe in the power of your home.
The more you say kind and respectful words to yourself, one day you will believe it.
The idea of saying it to little kid you is that it will allow you to become more connected with yourself and truly speak to what your needs are.
All of the things you have and the strong desire to be, is already inside of you.
To transform your self-talk, start talking to your inner child like they are listening to every thought and belief being said. That magical YET will become a core belief you develop about yourself- your home.
Then watch what happens when you wake up and look in that mirror every morning to someone you love, someone you talk to with so much kindness.
And for more inspiration on transforming your self-talk, PLUS much more, listen in to Amber's podcast Now, Go Kick Butt. It's a preview of what's to come inside her soon-to-launch app TeacherWell.
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