(by Amber Dembowski)
You don’t have to look too far or dig too deep to realize that as a society we have a crisis of trust on our hands. Low trust in the school system is everywhere, which breeds suspicion and cynicism.
The school doors will be opening soon for the upcoming school year. Whoop! Whoop! You’ll be welcoming back teachers and greeting parents. Students will be assessing you as a person and your classroom as their new stomping grounds. Yes, they’ll be sizing up how approachable you are, how organized your classroom feels, and what the year will bring. But no matter how prepared you feel you are, if you don’t establish trust, your well executed strategies won’t amount to much when it comes to results.
So your top responsibility as you plan for welcoming teachers, students and families back for the upcoming school year should be to establish trust.
The principles of trust apply universally, whether it’s personal and with a loved one, or whether it’s developing trust with your teachers, your students, or the students’ guardians.
My first year teaching turned out to be an amazing experience, but it didn’t start out that way. I had several parents who weren’t convinced that a first year teacher would be good enough for their child, often questioning their child’s grade and wanting to visit with me extensively about grading practices. I quickly realized that this wasn’t an issue with my age or minimal experience – both things which I couldn’t control – but more of an issue with a lack of trust.
Twenty-two years later into my career, at a new building as the principal, it didn’t matter how much experience I had. The families didn’t know me. And almost everyday I’d get a call from our Director of Student Services to relay a message from a certain parent about a concern. “The traffic during dismissal is too backed up,” or “There is trash that someone dumped on the sidewalk,” or “Why didn’t my daughter attend the assembly?” I found it odd that I often would pass this same parent at arrival or dismissal, and yet she would rather call the Director of Student Services, instead of talking to me about these concerns. I again realized quickly it was a trust issue and that I had work to do.
A lack of trust creates a breakdown in any relationship and slows things down – every decision, every communication, and every relationship. Learning how to establish and grow trust can positively and significantly alter that trajectory.
When people trust you they have confidence in you. They have faith in positive outcomes and feel assured that you will do hard things on their behalf. The heart and soul of a thriving school lies within a place where trust is cultivated. All things are rooted there.
The best part is, trust is actionable. It’s something you can create. One of my favorite books is The Speed of Trust, and many of the ideas written here were taken from what Covey shares so clearly.
Let’s get started …
Establishing Credibility
One of the key ideas to creating trust is establishing credibility. Within credibility there are 4 core components: Integrity, Intent, Capability and Results. Take a look at an example of each of these core components.
Integrity - I’m able to consistently make and keep commitments to myself and others. For example, if you tell parents to look for weekly updates via email every Friday, then you prepare and send an email every Friday, or you communicate otherwise.
Intent - Other people can clearly tell by the things I do that I really do have their best interests in mind. For example, when there’s a conflict between two students, you take the time to listen to both perspectives on the situation, rather than imposing your own will, and using it as a learning opportunity for both, before moving forward with any type of consequence. Because the bottom line is, everyone wants to know that you’re willing to listen and that you care.
Capability – I relentlessly upgrade and increase my knowledge and skills in all the important areas of my life. For example, a student with autism is in your classroom and demonstrates some behaviors you know will be challenging to manage. You extend yourself to learn more by reading and attending workshops. You ask for support and welcome any feedback so that you can be the best teacher possible for this student.
The complacent company (classroom) is a dead company (classroom). Success today requires the agility and drive to constantly rethink, reinvigorate, react, and reinvent.
-Bill Gates
Results - I appropriately communicate my track record to others in a way that inspires confidence. For example, you frequently share the successes and celebrations of your students with parents and guardians, and can point out the small wins even when there are perceived concerns. You can see the strengths in the situation, even when others may only see the obstacles. And you’re able to humbly share how their child is experiencing this success because of the strategies you’ve put in place. Establishing trust is taking the responsibility of the results (no matter if they are good or bad), and not necessarily the activities that led up to the results. A non-example of this might be, “I implemented the strategy you told me to use, and he’s still out of control in my classroom.” This statement is taking ownership of the activities, but not the outcome. Avoid this.
Key Behaviors That Create Trust
Aside from establishing credibility, there are also some key behaviors that can create trust. Although there are many, I’ve highlighted a few below:
#1 - Extending Genuine Kindness
The overarching principle here is the idea that every human being has intrinsic worth that should be acknowledged. Sometimes, what we see in the school setting – especially with our families – is not showing that we care. Usually because we don’t know how or because we don’t take the time. Teaching kids is a team effort, and a strong educator recognizes the contributions made by everyone – including the parents or guardians. A little demonstration of care or concern can go a long way.
#2 - Being Open and Honest
Creating transparency develops trust through genuine vulnerability. Through the words of former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis, it allows light to flow through it. “Sunshine is the best disinfectant.” You go, Louis! I couldn’t agree more.
Transparency enables people to see. It gives them a sense of comfort and confidence because they know there’s nothing being hidden.
For administrators, this could mean being straightforward about the purpose of your classroom visits. Or, you own up to a mistake that you made. For teachers, it may mean you call a parent to explain and apologize about a situation that you wished hadn’t happened. Or, you include your students on your professional growth goal for that quarter.
#3 – Make Things Right
It is inevitable that mistakes will be made. We’re humans, after all. The prior key behavior mentioned was about being transparent. When you make a mistake, admit it. But stopping there isn’t enough. Keep on truckin’, because when a mistake is made then you must do everything you can to correct it in an above-and-beyond type of way, and communicate that as well.
What safety protocols will you put into place so their son doesn’t get hurt during physical education again?
What strategies will you put into place so that their daughter can feel more successful in class?
What next steps will you take so that their child experiences joy, rather than sadness, walking the halls?
#4 - Confront the Reality
Every school and classroom has some realities that are challenging and quite possibly long overdue. It could be Ms. Krabappel, who is constantly ensuing negative drama throughout the building. It could be little Johnny, who is really the one in charge and everyone walks on eggshells around him. It could be the oversized classes, or the understaffed special education programs. Confront the brutal facts, and never lose faith that it will get better. Facing the hard-truths, not giving up, and seeking solutions definitely builds trust.
#5 - Clarify Expectations
From my experiences, trust is often broken within classrooms from a poor execution of this behavior right here. And the same could be said for the execution at a school wide or district wide level. Many conversations with upset parents have included their own misunderstandings, or the feeling that their child is being mistaken or wronged – all rooted in a lack of clear expectations.
Does little Britney truly understand and agree with why she was moved to a different table to finish her lunch? Or does she go home to tell her mom that you don’t like her, and to prove it you moved her away from her best friend during her only free time in the day as a form of excruciating mental torture that you’ve been thoroughly trained in from your college class Student Torture 101?
Has prince Conner been sent out of the classroom 20 times this quarter, but when parent teacher conferences came around the parents knew nothing of it. The teacher thought the administrators were calling home, and the administrators thought the teacher was calling home.
In each of these situations, there was a hiccup in clarity. Don’t worry. Hold your breath (hic), count to 10 (hic), and provide a more accurate explanation -- exhale. Hiccups gone.
#6 - Know Your Audience
One way to know your audience is to make listening a priority. Not everyone is the same. You build trust with different people in different ways, and you must be willing to learn other people’s trust ‘language’ to effectively build it. Listening is at the heart of this idea.
Words and speaking ironically only communicate a little of what a person is really thinking or feeling. Research shows that communication is only 7% of what people say. 38% is how they say it. And a whopping 55% is their body language. So when you listen to know your audience, you must use your ears, your eyes, and your heart.
So, why does this all matter? Well, aside from the obvious reasons, studies tell us that 83% of people will give you the benefit of the doubt even when big mistakes are made if you’ve established trust. With all of the scrutiny out there about education, this is incredible, and shouldn’t be overlooked.
Parents are handing over their child to you for 7 hours each day. It’s our responsibility to build their trust in us because they deserve that. Your number one job as you welcome back students, meet with parents, and lead the charge for the upcoming school year should be to inspire trust. Because with trust you’ll be able to create a powerful balance and synergy between administration and teacher, or between teacher and student, or between school and home. All three connections matter equally, and the common bridge between them all is trust.
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