(by Amber Dembowski)
Stress has been described as the cause of itself and the result of itself. This time of year always seems to be a stressful time. Many begin to give up on their resolutions and become frustrated with themselves, or the pressures at work may be increasing because we’re over halfway through the year. For whatever reason you’re feeling stressed, it’s time to get a grasp on it and deal with it head-on.
So, let’s start by putting a little perspective on it. Robert Service, a poet who died in 1958, is known for a phrase that was printed in the insurance industry in 1916, then later for a Teacher’s Association in 1920, and Forbes used this phrase in 1925. Robert Service’s quote goes like this:
It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out, it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.
Take a minute and just reflect on what is actually stressing you out right now. Some of you may have thought about endless emails, approaching deadlines, too much to do in too little time, drama between teachers or conflicting priorities.
In the scope of life these are all a grain of sand. Yet, for some reason we often let these things get us off track or overwhelm us into a state of either pessimism or paralysis. So let’s talk through avoiding those double p’s.
Imagine the mountain in front of you is your purpose. If you don’t have a strong purpose for what you are doing each and every day, then the climb up the mountain will definitely be painful. And I think that is where the rub is -- people think if they have a purpose things will be easy. But your purpose will be a never ending mountain. There will always be a climb. There will always be obstacles. Often times, there will be rocks falling. So the purpose doesn’t make it easy, it just makes it worth it.
The stressors are the grains of sand that get in your shoe on your hike up this mountain of purpose. And yes, we will need to stop along our way of climbing the mountain to address the grain of sand. It may be something as simple as dumping the sand out of the shoe. Or, maybe it has caused more pain and damage, and a band-aid is needed for the blister. Either way, it can’t be ignored, it needs to be addressed in order to continue your climb. But in the grand scheme of things, it certainly isn’t something worth putting a lot of negative energy towards.
When we are stressed we need to stop, reflect on what is stressing us out, see how it fits within the big picture of our goals, figure out next steps to remove it or fix it, and then continue to move on. The most important thing is to monitor the energy put towards our efforts.
It is during these stressful moments that we can rely on some of the ancient Greek philosophies of stoicism. At one point I was able to be in a 6th grade room where we were reading about Greek philosophers, and we learned that stoicism reminds us of how unpredictable the world can be, and even so, we are still in control of ourselves. The right state of mind, when feeling stressed out, is a critical part to not feeling the double p’s -- pessimism or paralysis.
After reading with the 6th graders, I became more intrigued with the practice of Stoicism, and later learned that the Stoics had a practice called Turn the Obstacle Upside Down. If you can properly turn a problem upside down then every “bad” becomes an opportunity of good.
To the Stoic, there is no good or bad. There is just a matter of perspective.
When feeling overwhelmed it’s best to look at it from a bird’s eye view. It’s then that you can see the mountain, and realize that the stress is simply a grain of sand.
As we reflect on the triggers of the dissonance in our life the Stoic philosophy reminds us to differentiate between what we can change and what we can’t. What is in our sphere of influence and what isn’t.
Another practice that I think we’re all familiar with, but may need reminded of, wasn’t created by greek philosophers, but rather a german philosopher, and then later adopted by the Stoics. It has been described as the formula for human greatness and it states: Love everything that happens. Simply put, do not look for things that happen the way you want them to happen. Instead realize that everything that happens has a purpose and embrace it as such. Treat each and every thing as something that is there to prepare you for whatever is coming your way next. Love it, and know you will be better for it.
Recognize that not all stress is bad. Stress helps us meet deadlines and get things done. Stress can sometimes be described as positive pressure, and without it we would become stagnant or even bored.
So, when stress does get overwhelming, aside from our perspective of it, what are some things we can do to manage it so it doesn’t manage us? The easiest answer is to find immediate and quick ways to relax and let go of negative energy. Some of the simplest ways are to prioritize what is urgent and what can you address later? Make time for yourself. Take a walk, get up from your desk to reset your mind, listen to music, take 5 minutes to write down 3 things you are grateful for, and surround yourself with supportive people and their positive energy.
As you begin to think through your week, take responsibility for the energy and perspective that you bring, and remember that climbing your mountain won’t be easy. There will be grains of sand that get in your shoes along the way. But it is all totally worth it, and you CAN do it, because you have amazing things to offer the world! Don’t let the sand get in your way.
And share this blog with your team. This shouldn’t just be your charge to action. This needs to be something you expect from everyone. When everyone works together to create this culture great things will happen.
Comments